I think I’m living resiliently right now. Does that make sense?
Certainly, this last week tested my “resilience” quotient and I think I passed muster.
Consider this.
EXACTLY ONE WEEK AGO TODAY…
I was sitting right here in front of my trusty iMAC, blithely writing my second anniversary post for my blog Coming Out Crazy at The Toronto Star‘s Healthzone.ca. Within hours of filing it and waiting for my editor, Brandie Weikle to publish it, she called me with what she described as “devastating news” ~ the powers-that-be, her superiors, had decided to discontinue my blog.
She wanted to know if I wanted her to publish what I had written before learning of this news.
“Yes,” I remember saying instantly. “Why not end on a high!
“But I want to say good-bye in a separate post, next week,” I added.
I WAS STRANGELY CALM ~ STRANGE FOR ME
I was strangely calm. Very unlike me. I quickly made a few calls. Sent a few emails. Started thinking about that last post, which I titled, Epilogue. Then, I threw myself into revising my life. Marking my students major essays. And looking to the future.
I knew, then, I simply had to launch this new blog from my old one. That meant I had four days. I had no idea how that could happen or if it could happen, but I didn’t think about that. I just barreled on. Now, looking back, it was a real “trip” going through the process.
In four days, we were up and running. I did it with four hours of help from Tony Koch, a patient and resourceful website support provider. He stressed that my having worked on TypePad for two years helped. I was comfortable. Willing to try things on my own. I’ve never been afraid of pushing buttons.
I did not want to break the continuity of communication, the centrepiece of any community. And that’s what we are or what I see us as being. A team. With a mission. (I’ll post more about that at a later date, but soon.)
I’m not sure, but wouldn’t you say, that’s resilience? You tell me.
“RESILIENCE” CAN BE VIEWED THROUGH MANY LENSES
In the meantime, I have found a definition that fits with my philosophy of “resilience” ~ and it’s humanistic.
I’m just at the beginning my search for a deeper understanding of this concept. I believe there are both psychological, philosophical and emotional lenses through which you can view “resilience” ~ and perhaps, even genetic. And more. I don’t yet know. I’m researching.
I suspect “resilience” is going to be an ongoing theme, here. Life tests your resilience every moment. Whether you’re driving in heavy traffic or coping with this time of year… tax time!
I found a description of resilience that seems to suit me for the moment. I know I’ll find others.
ONE DEFINITION FOR RESILIENCE
It’s by a psychologist and researcher James T. Neill. He lectures full-time (while completing his doctorate) at the Centre for Applied Psychology at the University of Canberra, Australia. He cites another definition for “psychological resilience” that is certainly connected, but I view “resilience” as being able to turn your adversities to your advantage.
Here’s what he says on his website:
In humanistic psychology, resilience refers to an individual’s capacity to thrive and fulfill potential despite or perhaps even because of (psychological) stressors.
(According to Neill, these stressors or “risk factors” are often experiences of major acute or chronic stress – death of someone else, chronic illness, sexual, physical or emotional abuse, fear, unemployment and community violence. Essentially any situation that has the potential to throw your life into chaos.)
Resilient individuals and communities are more inclined to see problems as opportunities for growth. In other words, resilient individuals seem not only to cope well with unusual strains and stressors but actually to experience such challenges as learning and development opportunities.
Whilst some individuals may seem to prove themselves to be more resilient than others, it should be recognized that resilience is a dynamic quality, not a permanent capacity. In other words, resilient individuals demonstrate dynamic self-renewal, whereas less resilient individuals find themselves worn down and negatively impacted by life stressors.
A DAZZLING EXAMPLE OF “RESILIENCE”
When I think of “resilience” the first person who pops into my mind is athlete, model, actress, author, inspirational speaker, Aimee Mullins.
In 1976, she was born with fibular hemimelia (missing fibula or calf bones) and she had to have both her legs amputated below the knee at the age of one. Her story is stunning and what a dazzling example of ”dynamic self-renewal” ~ have a look at one of her most compelling, recent TED.com talks.
Titled The Opportunity in Adversity, trust me, it’s well worth 21 minutes and 58 seconds of your time.
And in the spirit of brevity, I’m going to stop, here, for now. Don’t worry, I’ll be returning to this subject, often. It’s going to be a theme because you can learn to be more resilient, according to what I’m learning.
I’m also discovering that resilience is a complex and rich area of investigation and one of the most powerful tools of mental health recovery and empowerment. So, stay tuned.
WHAT ARE YOUR STORIES OF RESILIENCE? SHARE THEM…
And most important, let me know your thoughts and experience with resilience. Or where you would like to focus in learning more about resilience. In other words, share your stories. In the comments. You know, I live for your comments. We all do, I believe, in this community of ours.
We can all learn from each other.
Speak soon.
“Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.” ~ Groucho Marx
Interesting. I think you hit it right on. I have learned during trying times how important resilience is. I call it, “focus on what you can do, and let the rest go.” My Soldier son uses an Army phrase, “Drink water and drive on.”
Hi, dear Sally,
Huge thanks, and hugs…
I love your definition of “resilience” and your son’s maxim is brilliant.
Please thank him for us.
It’s a perfect headline and I’m wondering if he would mind my “sharing” it here, in bold face and big type?
It’s wonderful that you’re here with us.
You make me feel like this new place is home.
I send you affection and gratitude,
xox
s
You’re welcome! I’m sure he’d love to have you use that Army maxim.
Thank you, Sally.
And please thank your very wise and brave soldier son. I just spotted your comment and I’m in the middle of something else. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you.
Hugs,
sln
Hi, Sandy,
Resilience – an interesting word. I think that all people living with mental illness are resilient. We have to be or we would not be here, I suppose. Even when I am not in an ill state I find that I have to be resilient. Maybe because I run my own business that I am forced into being resilient. I have found that I am very resilient – even though being so doesn’t make things, generally speaking, easier. I have survived many, many tough times and I’m still here but it has not always been easy for me. Even in success I find I have to be resilient – which may sound odd, but success brings its own challenges and forces me to grow beyond my comfort zone and I can chose to either accept the challenge and move on or quit. So, yes “drink water and drive on” is a very good line to live by.
For myself, in business, I have to live by this motto all the time. If someone cancels our service, 99% of the time for financial reasons, I have to shrug it off and say to myself that something else “better” will come along. That this blip is only temporary and it usually is and something better always comes along.
This is the time of year for me when things are changing at such a rapid pace that I have to be resilient because now I have switched from the stress of not having enough to the stress of having too much too fast and not enough time.
As the spring progresses and the phone begins to ring you may not hear from me quite as often – just know that Sheila is out there somewhere in a garden or building a pond and practicing resiliency.
Hi, Sheila…
I want to respond to this thoughtful comment, but I need some time to think about it.
Do you mind? It’s not a quickie.
Thanks,
sln
Sheila,
I haven’t forgotten this comment and actually, I’m planning to post on it. Even tried. But I’ve been so tired, I wasn’t happy with what I was writing. Today, as you are busy out in the sunshine, gardening, my black thumbs and fingers will be marking all my exams and readying my final marks. I will take breaks and try to finish my post. So I hope you don’t mind waiting.
One thing I will share from my discussion with my psychiatrist about resilience the other day.
And he does not claim to be an expert on it.
One can “hone” one’s resilience, which suggests that many of us have the potential, but if you don’t use it, perhaps you lose it. Perhaps it has to be tested. It appears one facet of resilience is related to one’s nature. I don’t know if “all people living with mental illnesses are resilient,” though.
That’s what I’m working on in my post.
So stay tuned.
And it’s a beautiful day for working outside, and the Weather person (why is it always a man?) predicts a high of 18 degrees Celsius or 64 degrees Fahrenheit. (I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve never really been able to comprehend metric weather.
xox
s
I don’t mind at all – you are very busy.
Hi Sheila, again…
Resilience, I’m learning, is a hot topic these days and if you Google, you’ll see why.
Yes, Sandy, it was a beautiful day to be outside. Today was spent cleaning out two mucky smelly ponds, both to the great joy of our customers who were just thrilled with the results of our hard work.
You and I seem to be matched in a race with the clock to accomplish everything we need to accomplish in the limited hours of the day.
Right now, not only am I being stretched in every direction, I have to find some way to work in some sort of balance. That is the trick for me – balance – it’s difficult to find at this time of year. I eat only when the moment presents itself – which means that on Monday I had a bagel and tea for breakfast and a bagel and tea for dinner at 9 p.m. Tuesday wasn’t much better and today, well it’s nine at night & I haven’t made it to the kitchen to eat anything after getting home at 7, following up on emails, catching up on family news, having a shower to remove the fishy smell from every where and following up on a phone call for more business.
I know, I know – you have to eat, Sheila. Too true, I just have to learn how to schedule that in some place. I better do it or I will pay for it down the road. Without balance I become overwhelmed and crash.
Mindfulness & resilience.
Well, it’s time to go eat.
Sheila,
You’re so right. We are so alike, or were today.
I, too, forgot to eat. However, I never got dressed either. I’m a nightgown journalist/blogger. Not terribly healthy. Tomorrow, I vow to get dressed.
At least you were working outside in the fresh air and sunshine ~ even if you were “cleaning out two smelly muddy ponds.” How does one do that, I wonder!
I, on the other hand, remained pallid as I plodded away in my study in front of my iMac. Not as healthy as you, despite the fact that you neglected your nutrition.
It’s late, but I wanted you to know that we were both working on transformation and change, which is one definition of resilience. I’m turning in now. I’ll see you tomorrow.
I have so much to do! I’m facing deadlines, deadlines, and more deadlines.
Hugs,
sln
Morning, Sandy,
How do you clean out ponds? It’s a task and a bit. Quite a process but in the end the results are quite nice.
Good morning to you, too, Sheila…
If you’ll excuse the analogy, but is cleaning “smelly muddy ponds” like cleaning toilets?
xox
s
Quick stop home for lunch – thought I’d check in. In reply – no! Although it is icky – I would rather clean a pond than a toilet.
Sheila,
Given my penchant for killing plants and grass, I’d probably be brilliant at killing “smelly dirty ponds,” too.
So, I think I’ll stick to toilets…
Have a peaceful evening. I’m off to a meeting.
xox
s