Sandy Naiman
Email: sln @ sandynaiman.com
Follow me at www.twitter.com/slnaiman
I have a Networked Blog on Facebook and welcome new friends.
“Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.” ~ Groucho Marx
“Blessed are the cracked for they shall let in the light." – Groucho Marx
A poor decision by the Star methinks, but glad you’ve found a permanent home.
Hi, Scott…
One never really knows why decisions are made, but I suspect they’re based on values. And in this case, I suspect, the bottom line played a part. I’ve really let all that go and I’m now here, in the present, and enjoying my freedom.
As for permanence, I don’t bank of that either. Anything can happen and I’m open to all possibilities. As I said, I’m thinking about resilience and beginning to believe it’s a vital coping skill for emotional well being. This is going to be my next major post.
But for now, I love this format as I become accustomed to the WordPress way of doing things. And I’m delighted to make your acquaintance. I hope you drop by often and continue the conversation. You’ve made a good start, here.
BTW, I’m curious. What is Woodbine Entertainment? Are you out at the racetrack? I know some members of the horsey set and it sounds like your work must be interesting. What entertainment do you provide out there. I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve never been to the “new” Woodbine.
Sounds like fun.
Anyway, thank you so much for writing. I appreciate your sentiments enormously.
Cheers,
sln
Hello Sandy,
I was shocked to read that The Star cancelled your Blog. I’ve been reading it for the past year and I am very interested in the fact you are “out” because I’m not. I’m SchizoAffective and work in the financial sector on Bay St. where they would not appreciate my diagnosis.
However, next year I am going to retire and publish a book on my manic/psychotic experiences and hopefully become an advocate. You give me lots of good ideas how to get involved but and I’d really appreciate an email actually where to start.
All the best and I’ll keep reading, Carolyne
Hi, Carolyne,
I’m so sorry you were shocked by The Star‘s cancellation of my blog. Somehow, knowing what peculiar things are happening right now in the newspaper business and the fact that their editorial department is being reduced by 25%, I wasn’t. Newspaper journalism is in transition and it’s not a stable place to be right now.
Anyway, pushing forward, upward and onward, I’m hopeful. Excited. Exhilarated by the way this new incarnation is unfolding. And the freedom is utterly invigorating.
About your interest in my being “out,” I’ve never been “in,” if you want to know the truth. I come from a medical family, with lots of doctors and psychiatric social workers. I began seeing a psychiatrist because I was perceived as being “difficult” and my mother has always said that I was “histrionic.”
My family, particularly my mother, were very supportive. I never realized there was anything particularly notable about going to a psychiatrist. My weekly visits to Dr. Margaret McQuaid were considered no different than one of my younger sisters weekly visits to an allergist for her allergy shots.
Now, outside the family constellation, it was a different story. Innocently. Unwittingly, perhaps. I talked openly about my psychiatric adventures and many of my friends didn’t blink an eye. Some, however, did. They called me names.
“Mental.” “Nuts.” “Loony.” “Insane.”
Those names stung, but my mother always reassured me. You know the old bromide. “Sticks and Stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” She had another saying, whenever I complained about having to go to see Dr. McQuaid.
“If you have a broken leg, you go to a doctor and have it set so it can heal. And if something’s wrong with your mind, you go to a psychiatrist and talk, so your mind can heal.”
Back then, there wasn’t much more they could or would do for me.
As time went on, I was able to grow comfortable in my psychological skin and the therapy continued and has continued for close to 50 years. I like being honest and open and my psychiatric history has never held me back.
The Toronto Sun hired me in 1977, with full knowledge of it.
As did Seneca College, on March 8, 2007, which happens to be International Women’s Day. CBC Radio and CHFI had no trouble with my psychiatric history. It’s quite dramatic as you probably know. I have been hospitalized 20 times for mania and as a result of one psychiatrist’s negligence in not monitoring my Lithium levels, I almost died of iatrogenic acute Endstage kidney failure in 1991. I probably wouldn’t be here if my sister, Glorianne, hadn’t given me a kidney in 1994, so I have so much to be grateful for.
It’s all, I think, in the way you feel about yourself. Psychotherapy has saved my life and given me the gift of insight. Not pills. No insight in the bottom of a pill bottle. And there’s no quick fix, either. I’m still in therapy.
Anyway, this is a separate blog post which I’ll revisit soon, if you like.
Finally, and by no means an afterthought. I’ve saved the best for the last.
I’m utterly delighted that you’re reading me here.
As for disclosure to your employers, its all in the way you do it and to whom. I have always made it a priority to get to know the head of the Human Resources Department, at my permanent place of employment.
And to present as strong and proud. And I am. I’ve grown to like to person I am today, but trust me, Carolyne, that has taken years. I’ve worked so hard at everything I’ve ever done to beat the negative stereotypes, the barriers, the discrimination, the prejudice, the fear and the ignorance that exists around mental health issues. I’ve made it my mission to try to be a voice of reason and hope and inspiration, perhaps.
Plus – and this is probably one of the most important factors, for me – meeting (we were fixed up, actually) and marrying my husband almost 10 years ago at the age of 51 has helped me beyond belief.
There’s nothing like being supported and loved unconditionally in a good solid authentic partnership where our motto is, “No Secrets, No Lies” and we know that “To know you have enough, is to be rich.”
I feel very lucky.
You can be, too. It takes tons of work.
Heartfelt thanks for your lovely, encouraging and candid comment.
Speak soon.
sln
Thanks Sandy! Just to let you know I do have my full family’s support, but the corporate culture in finance left me without a job after 11 years once when I revealed my diagnosis. But now it’s 15 years later and I’m still in finance successfully somewhere else, just a little quieter about myself. I look forward to future blogs, Carolyne
Hi, again, Carolyne,
Things are very different today in the corporate culture. Depression is ubiquitous. A whole industry has built up around making workplaces healthier and that means less stressful. Acknowledging and accommodating mental health issues.
Maybe I’m deluding myself, but I’ve not found my psychiatric history to be a problem, ever. In fact, I’ve turned it into an asset by giving back to the mental health community through advocacy and speaking out.
But we all have to do what’s best for us within our comfort zone. On the other hand, pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone often promotes personal and psychological growth.
We’re all different, though. This, too, is another blog post.
Thanks, again.
sln
xox
sln
You are so encouraging to me to step out of my comfort zone which I intend to do (it’s taken me a year to write you on your Blog so these things take me time!).
You are also right, I have the greatest husband and daughter and they mean the world to me. I’m also very lucky!
Thanks, Carolyne
Congratulations, Carolyne,
I was worried that my point of view would be off-putting to you. You’ve made enormous progress. Remember, “Coming Out” takes time. It happens in stages. If you want to read another story, read the exchange I’ve had hear with a marvellous woman named Sheila.
Also, I neglected to acknowledge family support. I’m thrilled you are surrounded by such love. It means the world. Sadly, too many people lose their family support around mental health issues.
You’re well on your way. Baby steps. Keep taking those baby steps. And don’t worry if occasionally you take one step back, as long as you get right back on track. Focus on that extraordinary husband and daughter of yours.
I’m so impressed with you.
Bravo.
xox
s
Hi Sandy,
Just wanted to drop you a line and see if you could point me to the exchange you had with Sheila. I’m very interested in looking that up but I can’t seem to find it.
Hoping you had a great weekend, Carolyne
Hi Carolyne,
I’m so terribly sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you. I had to go downtown today, to see my psychiatrist and another of my many health specialists, and you know how long things can take with clinics and the waits. This is my life, though and I always have something to read with me. Plus I took the TTC and it’s a bit of a long haul.
As for your question, that particular conversation was on the “About” page of this blog. I’m going to be posting another “conversation” based on the “Resiliency” musings blog shortly, and Sheila contributed and inspired some of my ideas with her musings, there too. Isn’t this developing into a wonderful place?
I hope that helps.
If you have any more questions, please don’t hesitate to “drop me a line” … I love “dropped lines!”
Especially when they’re picked up and you can run with them…or vice versa. That’s one definition of dialogue and conversation, isn’t it?
Cheers,
sln
Hi Sandy,
Thanks for the reference to Sheila. I found it and it’s good to know other people have similar problems. You give great advice. No problem with the delay. I was busy at work anyway.
Are you going to blog about your psychiatrist appointment? Interested on his advice for your new venture.
I’m really glad, if I haven’t said so already, that you were able to get up and running and continue with the blog as fast as you did.
BTW did you read the Star article today on the OISE May 7th & 8th conference where they are going to be speaking out against mainstream psychiatry? They are going to have a protest on May 9th in the streets apparently. Were you surprised by this? Interested on your take on this article.
Thanks, Carolyne
Hi Carolyne,
Quick response. I want to finish the blogpost I started this morning at 6:45 a.m. and was unable to finish. There have been so many interruptions today, I cannot believe it.
As for PsychOut at OISE, yes. I read about it last week and I’m curious about it. There are several aspects of personal interest to me.
I must report, though, that I attended another conference that ran for four days in early June 2008 at the University of Toronto’s Hart House.
It was called “International Recovery Perspectives: Action on Alternatives” and had a world-class roster of more than 40 leading psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, researchers and advocates who were joined by 340 registered delegates to share intriguing and diverse perspectives and strategies for mental health recovery.
It was an invigorating experience. I learned a great deal and met some remarkable people there, who have remained important information resources and contacts for me ever since.
Let me say, in all honesty, this this conference was not from an anti-psychiatry perspective and still accomplished many of the goals that PsychOut aims to do. Also, I am well aware of the work of all three of the main keynotes and Mindfreedom.
You’ve asked me a very difficult question that cannot be answered simply and easily. It’s a post in itself. It should not be answered when I am so pressed for time right now. It demands very careful wording.
So I’ll stick with a very direct answer.
Yes, I read Helen Henderson’s article and last week, before her article appeared, I investigated the PsychOut website.
No. This does not surprise me, knowing about the work of some of the key organizers and presenters, including Bonnie Burstow and David Oakes of Mindfreedom International. I am well aware of their views and their concerns.
Right now, I cannot give you a take on the article, because I haven’t the time. I still haven’t been able to finish the post that I started first thing this morning, before the sun came up.
So, I’ll leave it that and no doubt return to this subject at some point. You can be sure.
Now, I’m signing off to go back to my post. I hope you can accept this response to your reply. It’s the best I can do right now.
Sleep tight,
sln